I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Green mimosas i think yes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
