She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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