He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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