Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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