I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize