i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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