she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
