Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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