so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
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Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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