Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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