k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
