i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
