Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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