im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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