My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize