Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
