Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
