so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
