i just had sex bonerless
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
