I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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