she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
