before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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