it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
