I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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