Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
