Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
