is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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