some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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