we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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