i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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