well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
