you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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