Ambien. No doubt about it.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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