As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
