Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize