It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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