Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
