Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
