Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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