do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize