dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think i have herpe
just one?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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