Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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