Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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