Yo dont text me then not text me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
