i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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