Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night