Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?

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  (206): So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia? http://tfl.nu/7m55
  Replies (14) Good night (555) Bad night (3513) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?

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  (651): What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid? http://tfl.nu/a3m4
  Replies (49) Good night (505) Bad night (3830) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."

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  (303): After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot." http://tfl.nu/jk33
  Replies (16) Good night (1539) Bad night (4623) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

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  (205): I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean. http://tfl.nu/fik0
  Replies (44) Good night (9977) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.

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  (201): You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality. http://tfl.nu/6ws6
  Replies (26) Good night (1351) Bad night (3804) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.

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  (617): She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her. http://tfl.nu/sdzd
  Replies (13) Good night (5521) Bad night (1302) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka

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  (985): I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka http://tfl.nu/h91z
  Replies (10) Good night (2250) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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  (859): apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us. http://tfl.nu/vs1x
  Replies (18) Good night (3405) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.

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  (405): Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable. http://tfl.nu/luso
  Replies (16) Good night (956) Bad night (2110)
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  (619): View more from California

  Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.

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  (619): Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll. http://tfl.nu/87wg
  Replies (4) Good night (798) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.

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  (636): So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN. http://tfl.nu/pnvk
  Replies (3) Good night (1110) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it

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  (570): Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it http://tfl.nu/gvlt
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up

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  (780): Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up http://tfl.nu/x63c
  Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.

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  (608): Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe. http://tfl.nu/0d36
  Replies (4) Good night (278) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry

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  (315): Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry http://tfl.nu/oid7
  Replies (5) Good night (449) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt

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