OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.