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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Thanks for last night it was amazing as always

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What are you talking about

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You've got to be kidding me

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• (949): View more from California

  The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

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• (408): View more from California

  worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...

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• (631): View more from New York

  Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal

  (425): View more from Washington

  Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  Ours, apparently.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.

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