He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
