This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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