Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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