gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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