I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize