Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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