This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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