I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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