Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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