im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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