You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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