I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
